Three Sentence Ficathon

"I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money."

Phillip sighed, feeling that this was his fault: he had invited the dinner guests, chosen the excellent wine, and — worst of all — abandoned his husband in order to fetch the dessert from the refrigerator. He was just about to feign an emergency with the mousse when he heard the reply, professional relish unmistakable under the drawl.

“Why, how very distressing for you.”